your reflection in my soul
by star.everlasting
Summary: She might have screamed; she isn't sure at this point, but her ears are ringing and her throat is sore when she gathers her wits a moment after the explosion dies. Barry, Caitlin thinks. I have to get to Barry. [Snowbarry Week 2019 Day 2 - (Not Quite) Damsel in Distress]


Hey, Flash fam :)

This piece is a rewrite of and writing of extended scenes for S1, E10 - Revenge of the Rogues, where Caitlin is kidnapped by Captain Cold and Heatwave for Day 2 of Snowbarry Week 2019, prompt: (not quite) damsel in distress.

Hope everyone enjoys badass Caitlin and a closer look at each character's fears as they further explore what it means to be a superhero and what it will cost them to be who they want to be.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Flash/DCTV

* * *

When she was taken from the empty parking lot, Caitlin had been more shocked than terrified. Even now, in what she can see is an abandoned warehouse with her blindfold yanked off of her and known arsonist Mick Rory holding her captive while she struggles in front of the notorious and self-proclaimed Cold, she is not afraid, not even with the camera pointing straight at all three of them. This is clearly a ransom message.

She is right.

"Greetings, citizens of Central City. I am Leonard Snart…but you can call me Cold."

Behind her, Mick Rory snickers.

"I'm going to make this very simple for everyone. That red streak you've been hearing whispers about, the one mysteriously saving people these past few months? Well, surprise…he's real."

That is the very first moment since her kidnapping that Caitlin feels a tremor pass through her, fear truly striking at her heart. Her brain is running ten miles a minute, and she already knows what Snart is about to say, what he wants, what his endgame is.

"No," she breathes, but Snart presses on, unperturbed and undisturbed by her faint interruption.

"He calls himself…" he pauses to let out a condescending chuckle. "The Flash. Porter and Main, tonight, sundown," he demands. "Come out, come out, wherever you are, Flash. Show the whole world you're real."

He moves aside to point the camera behind him at a still-struggling Caitlin. "Or this woman dies."

Caitlin's legs very nearly give out in sheer terror. The thought of Barry exposing himself, of purposefully revealing the Flash's existence and painting a giant target on his back that will never, ever go away, of him actually agreeing to Snart's demands to meet him will cause him to be hurt or worse, and without her there to patch him up, is enough to send her to her knees.

"No, don't come for me! Stay away!" she yells at the camera, knowing that is all the time she has. She hopes, prays, that she is convincing enough, that Barry will not feel heroic and actually meet Snart, that Barry and the others will weigh their options and come to the same conclusion she does: the Flash's existence must be kept secret, for Barry's sake.

Caitlin Snow underestimates the lengths that Barry Allen will go to protect her and get her back from her kidnappers, but she knows that he also underestimates just how much she wants to keep him safe.

* * *

Miles away, Barry paces in the middle of the empty Cortex, reviewing the plan he and Joe came up with that afternoon at the precinct over and over again. He's trying to focus and concentrate, he really is, but the sight of Caitlin's iced-over car at the crime scene and her terrified face on camera keeps pulling him back, threatening to send him into a panic and oh God panic Caitlin always calms him down when he's panicking and she's always been there to patch him up and she's _not there _what's Barry to do she's been by his side since his coma and every day afterwards and Caitlin has been taken to get to _him _she is in danger because of him and Caitlin is _gone_ and Caitlin is gone CaitlinisgoneCaitlinisgoneCaitlinisgone.

AND IT ISN'T JUST THAT EITHER IF THIS PLAN WORKS IT MEANS THAT EVERYONE WILL KNOW THAT THE FLASH TRULY EXISTS AND THEN THEY'LL WANT TO KNOW WHO'S UNDER THE MASK AND AND AND IF ANYONE EVER ACTUALLY FIGURES IT OUT THEN THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM AND HIS FRIENDS AND HIS FAMILY WILL ALL BE IN DANGER AND CAITLIN IS GONE OH GOD CAITLIN AND IRIS AND JOE AND CISCO AND WELLS AND EVEN EDDIE BUT CAITLINISGONECAITLINISGONE BARRY IT'S CAITLIN JOE SAID AND HIS HEART DROPPED CAITLINISGONE.

The memory of what Joe told him that morning when they discovered Caitlin's disappearance jolts him out of the vicious cycle in his head. His thoughts are so many and so vicious and so loud; it's all Barry can do to keep himself from spiraling into a complete panic attack, all of his fears and insecurities surfacing all at once- his fear for Caitlin, still in Snart and Rory's hands, his fear for the people around him, because if his enemies are already striking at him like this, striking so hard, then everyone around him, everyone he loves will be in danger. What if this isn't enough to get Caitlin back? What if he isn't enough to help and to save the people around him? What if more people die on his watch? Just like how his mother-

His phone rings, effectively breaking out of his trance. Barry answers immediately. "Hey."

"Okay," Joe tells him. "You're on. Good luck, son."

It's always a warm feeling when Joe calls him that. Barry knows how much he owes Joe after everything, and the corners of his mouth tighten, the fear for his surrogate father coming back to him once again. He swallows his fear down, pushing past it to face what needs to be done. "Thanks."

Joe pauses for a moment, his voice going quiet. "Barry," he says. "After tonight, everyone's going to know that the Flash exists. You ready for that?"

In the lab, Barry stops pacing in front of the glass case containing the Flash suit. He thinks about everything that's happened in his life, the yellow lightning he saw the night his mother was murdered, the Particle Accelerator explosion, the lightning coming down on him in his lab at the CCPD, waking up to Cisco and Caitlin's faces, Caitlin's smile-

He takes a deep, fortifying breath. "I'll see you soon."

* * *

"Do what you want to me, but _leave. Him. Alone._"

She probably shouldn't have said that. Snart and Rory had known she has some sort of connection to the Flash, but that statement only further proves them right- and for all she knows, that could be the Flash's- Barry's- undoing. And now, she knows that her captors are on their way to meet him, and they have her bound and gagged to a chair sitting on top of a bomb in an old warehouse.

The movies were right. Why is it always a warehouse?

Caitlin let her head roll back as she mentally gripes at herself, then lifts her head again, snapping her hard, brown eyes open. She has to pull herself together. If she can figure out a way to get out of there, she might just be able to prevent Barry from exposing himself to the world…and even if she is too late to do that, then she will at least be by his side to patch him up, should anything happen.

Quickly, Caitlin inspects her surroundings. There are metal desks in front of her and shelves all around with junk and equipment Snart and Rory must be using. The bomb that Rory set up just before leaving is placed right underneath her chair, a wire attached to a makeshift pin stretching across the stairway so that anyone who comes in to rescue her without knowing about the bomb will set it off and blow her sky-high. If that doesn't work, then she can see from the wire's trail that if she so much as moves her chair from that spot, the tug on the wire will pull the pin out. It really is just a modified grenade, she thinks, and then squints her eyes to take a closer look at it.

Her brain whirls as she instantly comes to two conclusions:

The bomb looks small enough to produce a localized blast based on its outer appearance, dimensions, and rudimentary makeup (though it was pure guesswork and she would need an actual specialist who knows these sorts of things…like, say, a CSI…to confirm her conjecture), and

Anything is better than staying cooped up here, waiting for help.

Gritting her teeth, Caitlin lets out a quick breath, praying that she can at least get far enough away, maybe huddling her body behind the chair itself, so that she won't sustain any major injuries, and can make it out to where Snart and Rory demanded Barry to meet them. She looks down at the bomb one more time.

One. Two.

THREE.

Caitlin violently tips her chair to the side, yanking the pin out from the bomb as she falls to the floor and slides a couple of feet to her right. The right side of her body throbs with pain from the impact; her shoulder breaks her fall on the cold concrete, her arm and leg immediately start to bruise, and she can feel the way her hip smashed into the side of the chair arm when she fell. Really, she was only lucky in that her head didn't hit the ground first, and Caitlin knows she cannot dwell on the pain that is ricocheting up and down her body. She has scant _seconds_ to scoot the chair as far away as she can get, her mental clock ticking down, and just a mere _millisecond_ before the bomb goes off, she manages to curl up as best she can with her entire body lashed tight against the chair.

She might have screamed; she isn't sure at this point, but her ears are ringing and her throat is sore when she gathers her wits a moment after the explosion dies.

_Barry_, Caitlin thinks to herself. _I have to get to Barry_.

The way she is curled in the chair isn't much and doesn't offer complete protection against the blast, and she'll _definitely _need to have Cisco or Barry take a look at her back if the burning pain she feels is anything to go by, but she manages to stay alive, so that counts as a win.

Thinking quickly, Caitlin shimmies the chair forward, inch by slow inch, until she reaches the thin, rusty legs of one of the tables Snart and Rory put their junk on. Her wrists and ankles burn from all the writhing she's done against the coarse rope tying her down, but her need to get free suppresses the pain; likewise, Caitlin looks away from the redness and the way her skin is rubbed raw in favor of getting to the table and wriggling enough to try to cut through the rope around her wrists. The rope doesn't give easily, and when it does, agonizing minutes later of her shifting this way and that on the floor, the sharp table leg snaps the rope and then slashes straight through her skin.

She bites back a yelp of pain, only allowing a hiss to slip through her teeth. The tears are instantaneous, but she does her best to hold them back, quickly undoing the binds on her left arm and then freeing her legs from the chair. As soon as she stands and straightens up, Caitlin's back erupts in searing fire. It is so severe that it makes her hunch over again, two tears escaping the dam in her eyes and slipping down her face. She lets out a sob, then she forces herself to take a deep breath, one, two, in, out, and then she's up again, more tears stinging her eyes at the pain.

Barry. She has to think about Barry, about the danger he's in _right now_ meeting Snart and Rory.

Eyeing the table, Caitlin looks over her options, and immediately grabs everything she can- she straps on a belt of grenades, grabs an abandoned handgun off another shelf Snart must have left behind in favor of Cisco's cold gun, and even stuffs a nearby hammer and wrench into her coat's deep pockets. She takes a deep breath and, with only slightly wobbly steps, despite the wounds that she can see (and everything she knows is there but haven't taken the time to look at and assess yet, completely ignoring the mental medical sirens blaring about in her brain), makes her way toward the steps and then to the exit she saw Rory and Snart headed to on their way to meet Barry.

Caitlin gets the surprise of her life when the warehouse door is thrown open to reveal Cisco and Joe on the other side, the engineer immediately shouting, "CAITLIN!" and rushing forward to envelope her in a hug while the detective visibly slumps in relief. Caitlin jerks back as soon as Cisco accidentally makes contact with her injuries, but recovers as quickly as possible. There is no time to explain. She quickly returns Cisco's hug, and then promptly decides that thanking them for their attempted rescue could wait.

"Barry," she says, and Cisco understands without having to ask; he hands her his earpiece linked to the Cortex comms and to Barry, currently fighting for his life.

It isn't, however, Barry who responds. "Barry's fine," Dr. Wells announces over the comms. "Snart and Rory are now in CCPD custody."

* * *

As the victim and the kidnapped woman whose face had been broadcasted all over the city, Joe takes Caitlin down to the precinct to take her statement. Cisco is reluctant to leave his best friend's side at first, but when Caitlin tells him that he will need to prep the med bay for her as soon as she gets back to S.T.A.R. Labs, he rushes off along with all the weapons she managed to pilfer from the warehouse before they get down to the station, face pale.

"Caitlin, are you hurt? Do we need to get you to a hospital right now?" Joe asks, scanning her face and her form for any injuries. Of course, all the ones she's sustained are ones covered by her large coat, so she waves him off. The blinding pain had been dulled over the course of the night when Caitlin successfully manages to distract herself by worrying about Barry and how he's doing, and then thinking about Snart and Rory's incarceration.

"You just need a statement, right?" Caitlin asks him instead, her voice hopeful. She's aching and hurting and tired, and those burns she _knows _she has on her lower back absolutely need to be looked at as soon as possible.

Joe nods at her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that," he tells her sincerely, walking a short distance away to get her a cup of water.

* * *

To her great relief, taking down her statement did not take as long as she originally anticipated. Eddie Thawne rushes into the station, stopping when he gets through the doors to see Caitlin sitting with Joe, and he relaxes too. The Flash defeated the bad guys, Caitlin is rescued and safe, and the city is protected.

He's in the entryway of the glass double-doors that lead to everyone's desks and offices, so when Barry appears behind him just a scant thirty seconds later, he barrels past Eddie to where Caitlin is. Without even asking Joe if they are finished talking, he sweeps her up in a hug, pulling her as close as he possibly can.

Barry Allen has had twelve hours of knowing what it is to be apart from Caitlin Snow, and he has decided that he hates it and never wants it to happen ever again. It's only when she flinches and hisses in pain does he let go, worry immediately coloring his tired green eyes.

"You can go now, Caitlin," Joe says a little too knowingly. "Take care of yourself, okay? Take care of her, Barry."

His foster son nods and puts an arm around Caitlin to help her stand. "Joe," he says just before they walk away. "I need to know. How did you-"

To his immense surprise, Joe throws his head back and chuckles. "I didn't, son," he replies. "She got out all on her own. Armed to the teeth by the time Cisco and I got there."

Barry couldn't contain his proud grin as he guides her out of the station and into an alleyway, and when Caitlin gives the okay, he speeds them back to S.T.A.R. Labs.

* * *

Upon arriving in the S.T.A.R. Labs med bay, with Dr. Wells having gotten the note that everyone is safe and sound and already gone home, Barry easily lifts Caitlin onto the bed, and she struggles with shrugging her jacket off. It doesn't look good, he knows. Caitlin is counting on his and Cisco's steady hands- when their bodies were broken, Caitlin pieced them back together. Now, it's their turn to help her.

Cisco whimpers every so often when a fresh injury shows up, and Barry can feel his heart cracking with each one Caitlin reveals. The jacket had covered up her bruised and aching right shoulder, Mick Rory's red handprints on her forearms, and the deep, long gash with congealed blood on her arm from cutting the ropes on the sharp table leg had actually stuck to her jacket sleeve. She recounts each action that gave her the injury when it's revealed, and at one point, Cisco nearly bolts from the room, his face so pale and worried. The entire time they treat her, applying ointment and hydrogen peroxide and alcohol and bandages, Caitlin's face scrunches in pain and the occasional hiss escapes her lips, but she's trying so hard to be strong, to be strong for them.

Cisco _does_ turn his back, however, when Caitlin gestures to her hip, and it's just her and Barry looking as she gingerly peels down her pants just far enough to assess the damage. As she suspected when she went down in the warehouse, her hipbone is completely and severely bruised, purple and blue and green and yellow spreading all over the bone and surrounding muscles with red speckles where her blood vessels burst from the fall. Barry has to bite his lip and look away for a moment, overwhelmed by rage and anger and heartbreak at seeing the physical evidence and remnant of her kidnapping.

Caitlin sees the red lightning dancing in his eyes, sees him look away, and she reaches out to gently touch the side of his face with her left hand, her warm brown eyes full of understanding and comfort, comfort that she is truly there and safe again, and Barry can't help but put his arms around her once more. He holds her for just a moment, then gets to work on the nasty swelling, and Cisco turns back around after he gives the all clear.

This is the hardest part, Caitlin knows, as she takes a deep breath and lays down on her stomach, pulling the back of her shirt up. She hears the sharp intake of breath and Cisco's rather loud whimper followed by Barry's whispered, "_oh my God, Caitlin_" and feels his hand coming down to squeeze hers.

"How bad?" she asks weakly, not sure she really wants to know the answer.

"_Bad_," Cisco responds, but when she tells them what happened, Barry tightens his hold on her.

"It could have been worse," he murmurs, an expert in everything CSI-related, and none of them really want to acknowledge just how much worse. This is the one area they treat where Caitlin bites down on her lip to keep from screaming when they sterilize the burns and apply the salve. It could have been minutes, it could have been an hour, but when they're done, Caitlin is half-delirious with pain and exhaustion, and after Cisco gives her one last, long hug, Barry flashes her home.

They are silent when they reach her apartment, Caitlin's hands only trembling slightly when she opens her door and Barry hesitates, but she just knows, she's always known and she always knows; she reaches out for his hand, and tugs him inside. She gives him a soft smile, and then asks, "Water? Tea? Coffee?"

Barry waves her off instead. "I'll get something going. You- you can't actually take a shower, but if you want to go clean up and freshen up, I'll just…" He gestures to her kitchen, and Caitlin gives him one more smile before nodding and disappearing into her bedroom. Breathing out a sigh- of relief, of exhaustion, he doesn't know, it's been a _long _night- he decides on tea and starts filling up her electric kettle.

By the time Caitlin comes out of her bedroom in fresh clothes and just-washed, blow-dried hair, having washed up as best she could in her state, Barry's spacing out on her couch with two steaming mugs on the coffee table in front of him. Slowly, as to not startle him, she makes her way over and sits down next to him, picking up the mug and warming her hands. She takes a slow sip.

"Thank you."

There's a moment of silence. "Caitlin," Barry starts, the guilt written plainly on his face. "I'm sorry."

Written plainly on his face and in his eyes is the clear sting of guilt. "There's nothing to be sorry for," she tells him, because there isn't. In their line of work, she's still getting used to the idea of just how dangerous it can get as she thinks back on the metas they've faced so far. Snart and Rory weren't even metas, but because of her connection with the Flash, it automatically makes her a target. Somehow, she feels that she should be more anxious or nervous about that fact, but oddly enough, she…isn't.

He shifts on the couch to fully look at her. "You could have died," he says simply, and in those four words are Barry's greatest fear, the greatest price he could pay as a superhero. Caitlin hears all of his insecurities, hears the way they weigh on his shoulders, crushing him after the events of the past twenty-four hours, and she puts her mug down, tugging him to a stand.

"Can you run home?" she asks, and he is so, so confused for a moment until she explains. "It's been a long day, and after everything…could you…stay with me tonight?"

Caitlin isn't just asking for her; she feels safest whenever Barry is around, that much is true, but she also knows that Barry would be comforted most if he knew where she was, could watch over her with his own two eyes to ensure that she is okay. He looks nervous for a moment. "Are you going to be okay while I'm gone?"

She nearly giggles. "You'll be gone for all of ten seconds, maybe," she reminds him, and then for the first time that night, he flashes her that boyish grin she loves so much and disappears in a _woosh_ and a trail of lightning, only to appear in her front door again in an old CCU t-shirt and sweats. There's a slight flush on his face when he reappears, but Caitlin just leads him into her bedroom, closing the lights and gingerly, carefully crawls into her bed. Barry stands at the foot of her bed, unsure until she pulls back the covers on the other side and he slides in, his body immediately curling around hers protectively without actually touching her.

Caitlin takes the initiative and shifts closer to him, breathing in the scent she got to know is Barry's, comforting and warm and inviting. In the time that he ran home to change, he also took a quick shower, something she appreciates immensely.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing," she whispers a moment later. Barry looks down at her, incredulous. "You revealed the Flash's existence. You're going to be in danger because of this. And because of me. I asked you not to come."

He regards her, letting her words sink in. "There's nothing that could have stopped me from coming, Cait," he tells her. His green eyes hold a storm, his fears and insecurities surfacing once again.

Instead of answering, she merely takes his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to remind him _I'm here_ and _it wasn't your fault_ and _I'm glad to have you._

Caitlin snuggles close to him after that, and Barry snuggles in even closer.

Barry Allen is a superhero, but at the end of the day, Caitlin Snow is the one who saves him.


End file.
